Blessed

I've got a long post ahead. I'll just apologize now!

Have any of you heard about the church who's members are trying to go 21 days without complaining? They all wear bracelets and every time they complain they are supposed to move the bracelet to the other wrist. Go to www.acomplaintfreeworld.org or Oprah.com (she had it on her show yesterday) to read more about it. Our Wednesday night ladies class has been doing this. I admit, I haven't started yet but I really need to. I'm thinking about adding my own twist to it for myself and I'll write about that in a minute. In our class we are studying Numbers. I never in a million years would have thought that I would learn so much from Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers or that it would be so applicable to my own life, but I have and it is. It seems that every week a question is asked that reminds me of our situation with Max. This week one of the questions from our lesson was: What situation are you currently in, where despite God's special blessings for you, Satan has you focusing on the problem? I wish there was some way I could express how this applies in my life today! I know that I have many special blessings in my life. I have clothes, yet I complain that I want to newest, cutest thing (and honestly can't afford it, so I need to just put that out of my head :), I have a house, yet I complain that I want something bigger, with more land, we have food to eat every morning, afternoon, and night, yet I complain that it isn't good enough. Everyday it seems that I can find a way to let Satan have me focus on the negative. Well, the question REALLY hit home with Max.

Special Blessings from God for Max
*Doctors thought there was little possiblity Max would be fine, many prayed about it and HE IS FINE!!!
*Doctors thought he might have a metabolic disease, many prayed about it and HE DOESN'T!!!
*Doctors thought he might have a liver disease, many prayed about it and HE DOESN'T!!!
*He was tested for hereditary disease, many prayed about it, and HE DOESN'T!!!
*He was tested for a disease called homosystanaria (sp??) which would have not been good at all, and he doesn't have it!!!!
*Blood sugar was a major problem for him, many prayed and it got better!!!
*It was believed he might have cerebral palsy, many prayed, and if he does have it at all, it should be mild!!!
*We prayed for the blood in his brain to dissipate and it did!!!
*We prayed for normal, healthy brain tissue, and there is nothing to indicate at this point that it isn't!!!
*He has gone for 7 months with no seizures, even off of his seizure medication!!!
*Max had a low platelet count, many prayed and it went up to normal range.
*Additional brain bleeding could have occured in the first 10 days of life, many prayed and he had no additional bleeding!!!
*Doctors were concerned that Max was lactose intolerant - he isn't!!!
*There were concerns that the lenses in his eyes would not be where they should be, many prayed about the eye exam and his eyes looked great!!!
*He had clotting studies and protein tests done, many prayed that they would come back normal and they did!!!
*He was tested for thyroid problems, many prayed and these came back normal!!!
*Many prayed for surgery to go well and Max far exceeded the post-op goals
*I've prayed daily for nearly 7 months that he would have no problems with his shunt, and while we've had to check it out 2x, there has never been a problem!!!
*He can roll over
*He can sit up
*He can prop up on his arms
*He can eat
*He can hold a sippy cup
*He can laugh
*He can recognize his name
*He can recognize mine and John's voices
*Liane, his physical therapist, told me to baby-proof the house. She thinks he'll be on the move very soon!!!

This list could go on and on. I've looked through past posts and there is so much more that I could list.

Basically, what I am getting at is this, the future for Max did not look so great in the beginning. We were very unsure of how his body would react to the blood in his brain. Plus, there were many other problems that seemed to continuously arise while he was in the hospital. If you look up Grade 4 bleeds and Grade 3 bleeds, which is what he had, the outlook is very bad. Without God, we could be looking at a very different Max right now. We could be dealing with many, many, many health problems, both physical and mental. And the question from our lesson really made me think, am I as grateful for these blessings as I should be or do I let Satan cloud my view. Unfortunately, I have let Satan cloud my view. The things I focus on are: what kind of setbacks will he have when he gets older, will he have to be in special classes, will he walk funny, what types of problems will he encounter with his shunt when he is 5, 10, 25, or 50, why didn't God let that blood disappear just a little quicker so he wouldn't have to have the shunt. Do any of these things matter in the long run? NO! Didn't God tell us, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?...Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." These negative things are the things I focus on and because of that, I am not focusing on the NUMEROUS blessings and I am not finding as much joy in the blessings (like being able to hold a sippy cup) as I should be. So, if you've stuck with me this long, here is what my special twist is going to be with the no-complaint bracelet. Every time I start to worry or focus on the negative, I am going to switch the bracelet to the other arm. My goal is to never have to switch it, I don't have a time limit for myself, and to remember to have a very grateful heart. Yes, I will continue to pray that there will be no deficits, but God would know that was in my heart anyway. But while that is my prayer for Max's future, I hope to daily thank God for where he has brought Max to this day with an extremely grateful heart. My hope is that because of my eyes being opened to how I have been, I will no longer let Satan continue to cloud my view of how much God has blessed my child.

"Do not worry about anything. But pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are true and honorable and are right and pure and beautiful and respected. Do what you learned and received from me, what I told you, and what you saw me do. And the God who gives peace will be with you."
Phil. 4:6-9

Dt. 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

Dt. 32:4 He is the rock, His works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.

Ps. 33:4 For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all he does.

Ps. 146:6 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them - the LORD, who remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets prisoners free, the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but He frustrates the ways of the wicked. The LORD reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the LORD.

Ro. 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

I Thess. 5:24. The one who calls you is faithful...

Heb. 10:16-23 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

7 Months

This month has truly gone by with the blink of an eye. I wish that time would go a million times slower than it is. I am enjoying every minute of the stage that Max is in right now. His personality gets cuter by the day (I might be a little biased). He is an extremely relaxed and laid back baby - really pretty easy. People are always asking me if he's always as happy as he seems, and we are really blessed that we can honestly say that most of the time, he is. Some things he is doing:
~getting better at rolling over
~realizing that he can roll over to get closer to a toy
~hugging us when we hold him and clenching on tight to our necks
~a few times he has come at my cheek open-mouthed. I realize he's probably too young to be thinking that he's kissing me, but since I kiss his cheeks all day long, maybe he's caught on to that a bit
~he hides his head in my shoulder when he wants to play peek-a-boo. He'll usually keep it there till I or someone else says, "Where's Max" then he peeks out.
~laughs A LOT!! He gets really tickeled at the smallest thing. Sometimes he gets tickeled at himself and that is the funniest to watch.
~screeches really loudly
~reaches out for people
~watches us when we lay him down to bed and looks so far over his shoulder as we leave the room that it causes him to roll over
~He's very observant of everything around him
~Reaches for everything in sight and is very determined to get what he wants
~Scoots and pulls himself across the floor to get to toys (no where near crawling, only moves in a real small area)
~He always smiles and pays a lot of attention to John when he gets home from work, but yesterday he got really excited and was kicking his legs. His eyes were glued to John until he picked him up. It was like Max was thinking that he and John were about to do something really fun together and Max had been waiting for him all day. It was cute.
~He sits up really, really well and can play sitting up for quite a while.
~He can hold a sippy cup and get it to his mouth. He hasn't figured out how to drink from it yet.
~He is very much a mama's boy and looks for me when someone else has him. As long as I am in his view he doen't really care who holds him.


Today we went to Harding with Candice, her baby Marissa, Bridget and her baby Zoe. I tried to get some pictures of Max on the pretty campus, but he gets so distracted by everything around him that I can no longer get his attention to look at the camera. Today he thought the grass was pretty neat and it must have looked tasty because he tried to eat it.

This is one of his very favorite toys right now. It has a rattle on the inside and he shakes it so it hits the floor and just laughs and laughs.

I didn't realize how big Max was until he was by Zoe and Marissa. I honestly still think of him as being Marissa's size (on the right).

This was a picture of him laughing at himself. I have no idea what got him going, but he was cackling. I tried to get video, but of course as soon as I turned the camera on he was more interested in the red flashing light and quit laughing. If you click on this picture and make it larger you can see his 2 teeth really well (and his green peas from dinner smeared all over his onesie).

He played on the floor by himself tonight for nearly an hour. He started out facing the opposite end and somehow managed to turn himself around to play with the other toys. That's what I meant by him being able to scoot around. We sat and watched him for a good 45 minutes - no t.v. and very little conversation - just totally and completely entertained by this tiny person. I left the room and came back a few minutes later and he had turned back around to play with the toys on the end he started with. I had to do tricks just to get him to lift his head for this picture. I was just barely more entertaining than his toys.

Evaluation

Thanks for your prayers. I think things went pretty well today and I feel good about things. We won't get a written report for awhile, but the therapist was pretty positive. Everyone at Easter Seals is drawn to Max! He grins and lights up at everyone who enters the room and he has a definite favorite, named Michelle, that he really flirts with. He can spot her from across the room and he gives her the cutest grins. I'll try and get new pictures up before long.

New Test

I just got a call that Max will be having another evaluation on Wednesday at 1:00. It will test various areas of his cognitive development. I am only posting about this to ask you to please pray diligently for this, specifically that the evaluation will show that he is on target with other children his age. He has therapy before his evaluation and he will be observed during that time, so he needs to go good and strong for about 2 hours. I feel myself getting anxious about this already.

This morning I posted new pictures from our weekend. Scroll down to see them.

Day at the Lake

We've been making our first lake-trip of the year around the time of my birthday since we were in college. We go down for the day and get a campsite, grill hamburgers and sit around. Boring to some, but one of our favorite ways to spend the day. So this was Max's first trip to the lake. Unfortunately, we seem to always choose the coldest weekend, so we nearly froze and spent most of our time trying to keep Max warm. We were also slightly unprepared and remembered a million things that we had forgotten to bring with us once we got there. We had a great day regardless!




tuckered out

I must admit, sometimes I have wondered if I had been a better person, prayed more, read my bible more, would Max have been born without all the problems he had. Well, I was reading baby Ethan's website this morning and there is a song on there that his aunt wrote and scripture that goes along with it. I really like what is says and if you have time you might like to listen to the song. I don't have any idea how to link the song onto my site. Here's the verse:

John 9:1-3
Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

Here's a new picture of Max sitting and playing...something that doctors weren't sure he'd be able to do. Thank you, God.

We saw a lot of family this past week that we don't see very often. Unfortunately, I didn't get as many pictures as I wish I had.

Granny and Granddad
One time my sister, Kristin, asked Granddad what he and Granny did to have such a good marriage for so many years. He told her they never grew up. I believe it - they flirted with each other, joked, and always had a good time together. I'm going to try and post other pictures on here of them soon. This ones not very good - it's a picture of a picture.

Max wearing Granddad's hat

My cousin Melissa with Max. She's expecting a girl in July. I'm not sure what kind of face Max is making in this picture.

2 of Granddad's sisters, Aunt Juel and Aunt Christine. Max had a great time playing with them.

Max's first 2 teeth (on the bottom). It's the best picture he would let me get. I don't know what it is with kids and their teeth - they never want their picture made showing them off.

Uncle Roy, Aunt Chris's husband, with Max.

Uncle Jim, my mom's brother, with Max.

6 Month Pictures

To see Max's 6 month pictures, go to:
www.millersalbums.com
event code:17435WKJ
type in my email address: keljulian@hotmail.com and my first and last name. Click on view all then view slideshow to see them bigger. These were my favorites and it will be so hard to decide!!

Thanks for the sweet comments for my family. We appreciate them all.

Oh - Max has his first 2 teeth. They just broke skin 2 nights ago. Fun times!!

Granddad

Last night, around 5:30, Granddad was met by Granny at Heaven's gate, we are sure of it. We have a good feeling that Granny had the coffee ready and that one of the first things out of her mouth was, "Where have you been?" I can just hear her saying it now. Then I'm sure they sat on the back porch drinking coffee, watching the birds and horses, and catching up over the past 4 1/2 years. I wish I could be a fly on the wall. We were fortunate to each get some time with Granddad yesterday. That time was priceless. We were also blessed to be able to be with him the entire time. We are experiencing such a loss at this time, but he is well and I know he couldn't be happier. He is in the best place of all, the place we are all longing for one day.

Monitor

The heart/apnea monitor is now a thing of the past. The lady came to pick it up today and I signed off on it as being no longer needed. Please pray that we'll have peace when he sleeps at night.

My granddad isn't doing well. Max and I will probably head to Nashville to see him in the morning and John may be coming soon, too. Please pray for my family, especially my mom and her brother, during this tough time and please pray for safe travels. My sisters live 4 and 6 hours away and my cousins live in Michigan, which is a good 10-12 hour trip. Both my sisters and my mom have had wrecks in the last month (none of us has ever had a wreck) - they say these things happen in 3's so hopefully no more troubles on the road. And again, traveling without the monitor for 7 hours makes me nervous, so please pray for that as well. I'll update when I can.

A special visit and new things

John's aunt and uncle came for a visit this weekend. They happened to be in town when Max was first transferred to the NICU, so they caught a brief glimpse of him then but haven't seen him since. Max was completely relaxed with them and enjoyed being loved on and held by them. They brought him a cute stuffed Easter Bunny whose ears flop up and down and he sings and it has brought many laughs to our little boy. Here are a few pictues...




Uncle Gerald must have had the touch because Max doesn't lean back in many people's arms like that. Most of the time he wants to be sitting straight up.

Uncle Gerald is extremely talented in making things out of wood and he made the shelf in this picture. I have 2 others in my house that he made and I love them.


Having fun with Aunt Marilyn.


Max has a new fascination - his feet and toes. Apparantly they look and taste like candy.






Another First - Max is mobile...kinda. He is rolling from his back to tummy. This was very slow-going at first, but he is a champ at doing it now. We will have to watch him super close now - he would have rolled right off the changing table at church this morning if I hadn't been standing there. No more leaving him on the bed for just a second. I have a few videos of this, but no pictures, not that you could really tell in a picture what he was doing anyway.

Quick Medical Update - His last download from his monitor came back normal! This is the first time he's had a normal reading, so that was fantastic news. This means that we will likely be getting rid of the monitor soon. I have some mixed emotions about this - yes, I am tired of getting wrapped up in the cords and tripping on them, but I feel so secure at night knowing that he's breathing. (I won't miss all the false alarms that have me running frantically to his room in the middle of the night AT ALL!!!) I imagine I won't sleep well for awhile. Luckily, my mom bought me a great monitor before Max was born that goes under his mattress that is supposed to be sensitive enough to alert you if your child stops breathing, so that gives me some comfort.